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August 10, 2006
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August 10, 2006 |
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Challenges of coming home worth opportunities for kids
Teresa Bondurant-Wagner and Lee Wagner have lived in many places, including Lee’s segregated hometown of Birmingham, Ala., and the anonymous melting pot of New York City. Other places, such as Nashville, Tenn., and Baltimore, Md., would have suited them fine, the couple said in a recent interview, but nowhere else this side of the Mississippi offered a place that called to them like comfortable, homey Yellow Springs. It wasn’t only the fact that Teresa grew up in the village, graduating from Yellow Springs High School in 1980, that made coming back to a ready-made community of old friends and family so attractive. From Lee’s first visit to the village to meet Teresa’s parents, he could tell something was different about the place. “Nobody locked their doors around here,” he said, remembering his initial dismay. The warmth of Roy and Vivian Bondurant’s neighbors on Omar Circle and of their friends all around the village made an impression on him, he said. The slow pace of life near cornfields reminded him of Tuscaloosa and Selma, Ala., where Lee had spent time as a child with his grandparents and great-grandparents. Though a supportive community had its appeal, the Wagners each had career goals that went beyond a tiny town in southern Ohio. Several years after they graduated from Jackson State University, Lee began coaching football at the university, and Teresa headed off to Meharry Medical College in Nashville. Separated by a long distance but still a couple, they each worked to further their professions, until 1994 when Teresa’s mother became acutely ill with cancer. Teresa dropped everything in the middle of her residency to come home and help her family. When her mother died in October of that year, Teresa realized her father needed her more than ever, and she and Lee, with their infant son, Ameer, settled in at the house on Omar Circle. In 1997 the whole family, plus the Wagner’s second son, Ahmad, moved for a time to Dover, Del., so Lee could coach at Delaware State University. But on the heels of Lee’s internship coaching the Philadelphia Eagles, Teresa’s father died. “It was too much,” Teresa said from her house on Omar Circle. “It was then that we realized, this,” she said pointing toward the ground, “this is home.” Looking for stability, the Wagners immediately moved back into the family home in Yellow Springs to be near their friends and to commit to a place with a good educational system for their children. “We’ve lived in a lot of places, but nowhere could be more supportive than here,” Lee said. “I didn’t want to leave Yellow Springs again; it was for the kids.” They rejoined the Central Chapel AME Church community and reunited with their old neighbors, including Betty and Jim Felder, Frances and Shelbert Smith and the Smiths’ daughter, “Aunt” Tammy Smith, who were always there to help before they were asked, the Wagners said. And right away the kids got involved with t-ball, dance, the soccer leagues, swimming, theater, and “everything else that goes along with living in Yellow Springs,” Teresa said. The Wagners agreed it would not have been such an easy decision if the family home hadn’t made moving back an affordable option. Sometimes they still look back with a sense of longing for the dreams they had of being professionals in their respective fields. Neither of them ever expected to settle in Teresa’s hometown, where she is a full-time parent and community member and Lee is a program director with Urban Minority Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Outreach Programs in Dayton. But they were both emphatic about never having regrets about their decision to come home because they know it was the right one for their family. Now, with their daughter, Amani, and their third son, Aamil, their house has become a hub of activity centered around providing the best opportunities for their children and raising them to love God, to love learning and to be aware of the wider world beyond the village. On any given day, the Wagner’s home has nine to 11 kids running around, and countless friends and community members calling to talk about soccer, the play or a church event, Lee said. The family also has a habit of taking up a student or two every quarter from Central State or Wilberforce who is in need of extra support, a home-cooked meal or just having access to a clothes washer. Friends who know them don’t even bother calling the house anymore because they know the family is often too busy to answer messages, Lee said. “People don’t knock, they just walk through the front door,” he said. Yellow Springs has changed a little, according to Teresa, who notices that there aren’t as many younger African-American families as there were when she was growing up. There aren’t as many young families, period, she says, and she wishes for more children in the village. Also, job opportunities in the area are limited compared to those of the couple’s friends who live in larger metropolitan areas, Teresa said. But by contrast, opportunities for their children abound in Yellow Springs, Teresa said. And she can’t imagine a place that could have shown more caring and connectedness than when Yellow Springs High School student Arla Smith and Yellow Springs basketball coach Bryon Stubblefield both died in the spring of 2004. “Everyone gathered around the Smith family. There were all these people under one roof, and there were no racial lines, no social or economic status lines that could keep the whole community from coming together behind Arla and Bryon,” Lee said. “That really tells you what Yellow Springs is about. It’s the kind of place you really want to be.” Teresa agreed. “There’s no wonderful job with a high salary that can take the place of that for me,” she said. “You can’t buy that. Contact: lheaton@ysnews.com
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